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I painted my toenails! I know this may seem like such a small mundane thing to be celebrating, but for me right now it is huge! A little background to help convey my sense of excitement:
For some reason, I am not sure why, having painted toenails has always been a huge deal for me. Before Kadin was born, I cannot remember a time when I didn't have painted toenails. I used to change my toenail color nearly every week, sometimes more. Off the top of my head I can think of two examples to show how important having pretty toes was to me.
1. When I went into the hospital for my heart surgery, my doctor told me to take my toenail polish off so she could check for vasculitis (blood spots) under my toenails. I didn't want to do it so much that I would make sure my feet were under the covers whenever she came to check on me (she only asked one more time, if she had really made a big deal of it, I would have done it.)
2. After the doctor scheduled Kadin's birth, I made sure that my toenails looked pretty before the big day. I was nearly 9 months pregnant and I still manuevered around my belly to make sure my toes were cute.
After having my toenails painted everyday for who knows how long, for some reason, it all fell by the wayside. I went with my Mom I don't know how long ago to get pedicures and that was the last time I had painted toenails. It has been so long that I didn't have to take off the toenail polish tonight; it had grown out!
I was sitting here, after Kadin is in bed and Jeremy is off to lacrosse practice and looking down the bed at my bare toenails and thinking how much I missed having cute toenails. Then I thought "Why don't I?" Why don't I take the 5 minutes to paint my toenails and do something for me, something that I know will make me happy, even though it is such a small thing?
I need to remember that realization, remember that it is important to take the time to take care of me too. Even though painted toenails is such a small thing, and I probably won't think about it that much again after tonight, it is big for me right now!
2 comments:
Good for you! I think we underestimate the importance of really taking care of ourselves. :) I'm proud of you and I love you. I am so glad to be your sister. :)
Isn't it sad that sometimes as mom's we forget all about ourselves so much that it takes a little thing like toenail polish to help us feel human again? Glad you took the time to paint them and I hope it reminds you that you need a little Chelsea time every day! (Even if it is just 5 min!)
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