Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Why did we do this again?

Last night was ugly . . . well technically this morning. Kylee decided that her day was going to start at the lovely hour of 2 am. Usually, she wakes up, eats and dozes back off for another 3-4 hours. But this morning, she was wide awake and of course wasn't content to just lay in her crib and be fine by herself. After picking her up and putting her down for 2 hours, I just lay in bed and listened to her start to wind up to a nice loud scream and cried. I was so tired and so frustrated. Thankfully, my great husband saw/heard that I was at the end of my rope, so he took over for me for the next couple hours so I could catch a little more sleep and be able to face the day a sane woman.

Tonight is not gearing up to be a whole lot better; Kylee has been really needy and really cranky for the last 3-4 hours and I am hoping that Jeremy can work his magic again and get her to sleep. As I sit here listening to her squawk downstairs, I wonder why we volunteer to lose sleep, be screamed at (in close range no less), and be drenched in regurgitated liquid. Then I read one of my recently discovered blogs (found through a link from one of the other blogs I read); "The Man on the Inside". It is a quadriplegic man who has just had his first child and is writing about his experiences as a first time father and how he is finding ways to work with and around his disability. He wrote today about holding his son and needing to get the binky back into his son's mouth (he used his mouth to guide it back in). As always, the Lord sent me a perspective check right when I needed it; if he can take on an infant without the use of his arms and legs, then I can stop whining and remember that this time is temporary and the joy that Kylee is bringing and will bring is forever.

I don't know if this makes any sense whatsoever; blame the abbreviated sleep!

3 comments:

Andi Sherwood said...

It definitely makes sense. I had those feelings after Justis too. :) As you described, I just had to tell myself "It won't be like this forever. I can do it for a little while." Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and a year from now you won't remember how hard it was. :) I love you, sis. :)

Michaelangelo said...

Newborns can be so hard... especially when you have a toddler too and can't nap during the day! But, they grow up all too soon, so enjoy it while it lasts too :) Good luck!

Lori Thornbrue said...

Some days are hard, but it is over SO quick. Enjoy every moment, even the screams!