peace in the moment

This afternoon I got to experience true peace in every sense of it. Kadin had just woken up from his nap; it was a tough waking up with more crying and clinging than normal. I was walking around with Kadin curled up on my shoulder and pretty quickly, he fell back asleep. So I pulled blankets off our recliner/rocker and curled up with Kadin on my chest. I leaned back and just relaxed into the moment. The only sound in our house was our breathing; both a little wheezy and raspy. Our rhythms were off, but then he paused/hicupped for a second and when he got back into breathing we were in synch. it was the most amazing feeling to watch and hear our chests rise and fall together; to hear his rattly snot-filled intake of breath followed by a soft exhale of total satisfaction matched by my inhale, stopped in the middle by a slight hiccup reminding me to breathe deeper, and my exhale of complete release. It was completely quiet; completely calm; completely peaceful.
Usually on the days when Kadin has trouble sleeping in his bed and I spend nap time holding him; my mind is busy going in a million different directions: "how many loads of laundry can I get done today?" "Do I really need to run that errand today or can it be done later?" "I would like to get pictures of doing Kadin doing such-and-such for a scrapbook pages . . . . oh I'm so far behind on the pictures I already have" Outwardly the scene may look peaceful, but inside I am usually going a million miles in a million directions.
Today however, sitting with my nearly-2 year son, who very rarely sits still without CGI animated characters helping to hold his attention, I just sat in the moment. It felt like everything else was on pause and I honestly didn't have a single thought about something I "should" be doing or "could" be doing. I had thoughts about projects I would like to begin, but it wasn't like a "I really need to get going on that" feeling. It was more of a "that would be a good idea, when I get around to it" I didn't want for anything, I couldn't think of anything I would change, there was nothing more appealing to me than to spend this time in this way with this boy.