Friday, March 28, 2008

Assuming custodial responsibility

A while ago it seemed like everyone was talking about the book "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilberts. So, lemming that I am, I bought the book and read it to see what all the hype was about. For those of you who haven't read it. the basic premise is Elizabeth Gilbert's search for meaning and happiness by traveling to and living in Italy, India, and Indonesia. I totally recommend reading it; I don't necessarily agree with everything she says or does, but I think some of her conclusions about life and spirituality are really eye-opening and accurate.
Anyways, the reason I brought this up is because I was scanning my bookshelf for a quick pick to read while blowdrying my hair and I grabbed "Eat, Pray, Love". I just flipped it open to somewhere in the middle and started reading. Over the last few days I have read some here and there and I came across this section about prayer and it really stood out to me. It's kind of a big chunk, so I apologize in advance for the length.
"My prayers are becoming more deliberate and specific. It has occured to me that it's not much use to send prayers out to the universe that are lazy. Tired, confused and bored, my prayers sounded the same. I remember kneeling down one morning, touching my forehead to the floor and muttering to my creator, 'Oh, I dunno what I need . . . but you must have some ideas . . . so just do something about it, would you?'
And I'm sorry, but that's a little lame. You can imagine God regarding that prayer with an arched eyebrow, and sending back this message: 'Call me again when you decide to get serious about this.'
Of course God knows what I need. The question is - do I know? Casting yourself at God's feet in desperation is all well and good - heaven knows, I've done it plenty of times myself - but ultimately you are likely to get more out of the experience if you can take some action on your end.
Prayer is a relationship; half the job is mine. If I want transformation, but can't even be bothered to articulate what, exactly, I'm aiming for, how will it ever occur? Half the benefit of prayer is in the asking itself, in the offering of a clearly posed and well-considered intention. If you don't have this, all your pleas and desires are boneless, floppy, inert; they swirl at your feet in a cold fog and never lift. So now I take the time every morning to search myself for specificity about what I am truly asking for. What worked yesterday doesn't always work today. Prayers can become stale and drone into the boring and familiar if you let your attention stagnate. In making an effort to stay alert, I am assuming custodial responsibility for the maintenance of my own soul."
WOW! I think she hit the nail right on the head when it comes to prayer and the type of relationship we ought to have with God. I know I have been guilty of doing the same prayer morning, noon and night; "thanks for this day, thanks for our family, bless the food, etc." But the most meaningful prayers are those when I take the time to think it out and to speak to God as though He were right next to me. One of the strongest impressions I have from growing up is kneeling as a family for prayer at the table or at night. My dad would always call on someone to pray and we kids would always groan LOUDLY when he called on my mom because she always said the LONGEST prayers. But the reason her prayers were so long is because she was having a conversation with God; she talked to Him like she talked to us. She prayed for each member of our family individually and specifically. It drove me crazy then, but it is one of my most precious memories now. I hope that I can continue to cultivate my personal relationship with God and "assume cutodial responsibility for the maintenance of my own soul".

2 comments:

Andi Sherwood said...

Great post, Chelsea. :) I am the same way sometimes - specifically when I am tired. :) I will have to borrow the book from you!

:)

Michaelangelo said...

Sounds like a good book-- I know I definitely don't put enough effort into prayers most of the time. It's something I've been trying to work on lately too.