I am struggling to find the right way to deal with Kadin as he is becoming his own little independent person, with quite the attitude! Most of the time he is great, happy to play and run around and listens as well as any two-year-old can be expected (meaning it usually takes 2-3 repititions to get him to pay attention and follow through with something). But then there come the days when he gets the itch to be mischevious and starts to do things just because he knows they push my buttons. He gets this look in his eye and makes sure I am paying attention and then . . . ARGH! Makes me want to scream!
Anyway, I am at a loss as to how to discipline. So I am asking the moms out there, what have you found to be effective when you are first teaching discipline? I have tried time-out (he thinks it's a game to see how far and fast he can run as soon as I set him down), loss of privileges (this works pretty well, except when he gets into his deliberately defiant mode and then he could care less what I say) and today I even put myself in timeout (when he was throwing things at me and refused to stop, I barricaded myself in my room after telling him that Mommy doesn't like to play with him when he throws things). Maybe all it will take is time and repetition of things for it all to sink in, but it drives me to my wit's end! I can be patient when he is doing "normal" toddler trouble making things, but when he gets that look in his face that says "I know what I am doing is wrong and I'm doing it anyway. . . . " HELP!!!!
5 comments:
I wish I could tell you there is some magic trick to get kids to behave. I remember very well, dragging my oldest, Ben (was 2 years 9 months), up the stairs to our apartment as he was kicking and biting me and telling me to "shut up." (We don't use those words so I had no clue where he learned them!) I locked him in his room and called Jake in tears. I felt like such a horrible mom and had no clue what to do to get him to be a good kid. Now he is nearly 6 and let me just say, he is a complete ANGEL. He really is. He is the most reverent in his church class and so good at school. He's very polite and really watches over his younger siblings. I would have never guessed 3 years ago that these two boys would be the same person. All I can say is... hang in there. I think it just takes repetition, time, and lots of patience. Good luck!
I think these things just take time. Jacob is the same way, so very sweet one moment, and then I don tknow what the next. I think its just hard for me to be that strict mom, but I keep telling myself that it is worth it to put my foot down. He treats Patrick with so much more respect cause he knows he cant get away with anything with him, so I guess stay strong in the storm. I find they still tend to love you as mommy at the end of the day, even when it was rotten, and they had to be trapped in their room or time out for the majority of the day. Thigns I guess just work themselves out in time. Love ya! I hope the pregnancy is goign well. We should call eachother and chat, that would be fantastic. I miss you! K, well have a great day!
In our house we have a very visual system-- a magnet chart for each kid on the fridge. It's just a paper with their names on it and 10 places to put a magnet. They earn magnets by being happy, sharing with each other, being polite, etc. They lose magnets when they are naughty, cranky, etc. When they earn all 10 (and this sometimes takes a week or more), they get a treat or toy or balloon, or whatever we can think up as a reward. It's been very effective-- they get to put the magnets on (with help), and have to take them off when they are bad, so they can see their progress. Now if they start doing something wrong we ask them if they are earning or losing a magnet and what the better choice would be. Brennan (age 2.5) now "gives" Mommy and Daddy magnets when we do something, like hand him a glass of juice and he'll say "Thank you Mommy. That was nice! You get a magnet!" At least he gets the point :)
Good luck!
I don't know. My Hannah is the same way so when you figure it out let me know! I like the magnent idea from the previous post. Maybe I'll try it!
A friend of mine shared this book with me: http://www.gospeltruth.net/children/pearl_tuac.htm We didn't stick to the book entirely, but did use it to an extent and found it useful. The one thing we did learn from it is 100% consistancy. If we said or did something we had to stick to it no matter what. I couldn't believe how hard that was! Best of Luck.
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